Dear muslim community.
I apologize in advance for the fact that I have to write here about my situation. But being now in a difficult financial situation, I really want to turn to you for help. I don't know if I have the right to do this, I hope for your understanding.
My name is Nara, I am 21 years old, I live in Kazakhstan. Today I am studying at the 3rd year at the university and in the future I will be a teacher, InshaAllah. I live well, I never complain and always thank for everything what I have in my life.
Last year, during a long quarantine, I and one of my family members fell ill with coronavirus, fortunately we were cured. However, during this difficult period, Dad lost his job and unfortunately still can't get a stable job. But every day he tries to earn money by all means, either by taxi, or by selling various equipment. My mother works all day long to provide our family with all the amenities. But the availability of loans certainly interfere and put pressure, first of all on parents, and then on us – children. As the eldest child in the family, I was very worried about the state of my parents, so I always try to somehow facilitate and help with money. I work as a tutor and earn about 20-30 thousand tenge (50-70$), at the same time I study and help with my younger sister. Of course, sometimes there is fatigue, but I try not to show my feelings to anyone, although sometimes it can be very difficult.
The problem today is that I don't have enough time and energy to earn money to close loans that I didn't actually take out… Recently, on the advice of friends, I decided to get a job at an online school for teaching English, because there were better conditions, a work schedule, and a slightly higher salary, which would have helped my parents a lot. I thought for a long time and finally decided, but I was upset with my decision. The fact is that they were just scammers who took advantage of the moment and deceived my credulity. Unfortunately, their deception has greatly affected me, since now 2 loans in the total amount of 700 thousand tenge (1650-1700$) are registered in my name, which I am slowly trying to cover. Through my documents, my friends, they issued loans for me…I don't know, you probably think, really it was impossible to think, if I have any brains at all, but I never thought that friends could deceive, manipulate and disappear like that (only Allah is their judge). My parents don't know about this, I didn't tell them, because they have a lot of problems without it, I don't want to upset them. I pretend that everything is fine for the sake of their fortune and for the sake of my younger sister and brother. I know that this is a test from Allah. However, it is getting harder every day, there is not enough money, and there is less time. Now I am also working, I am slowly closing my loans, but every day I feel that I am getting exhausted, I have lost 10 kg now I weigh about 41 kg, there are heart problems, my hands are always shaking, I blame myself all the time for that day and cry, I am very ashamed in front of my parents, even in front of you who are reading this story. Previously, I always thought about graduating from university, getting a diploma, a dream job, that everything will get better and my family will be fine, but now all my thoughts are only about closing loans or about the worst, about how I can leave (but I can't, because this is the biggest sin, I can't let my family down) I always try to be a conscientious person, honest and decent, I have never asked for help from other people, I always try to solve my problems, because only I am responsible for them. But now I'm fading, unbearably inside, so I wanted to ask for help from you, people I don't know. I know that everyone has their own problems, maybe someone lives worse and has more serious problems, deserves more help, I'm not sure if I'm doing it right, I understand everything. But I hope and trust, I believe that Allah will help me. I understand everything, but this situation Is getting worse because to pay the entire amount it will take even more money, and there is not enough time and salary.
If you have the opportunity, please help me in any way you can, I will be grateful for any help. Thank you all for your attention and time.
I don't want anyone to be in such a situation, I am immensely grateful to everyone, be vigilant even with friends, because in this world you can't rely on anyone. I will continue to work and hope, thank you all.
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